


Romance Me With Guns, Not Ice Cream

by ronans



Series: Prompts [11]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Making Out, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:48:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3211433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronans/pseuds/ronans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><strong>Prompt:</strong> Ian and Mickey have 2 teenage kids and they're now Northside and a normal family. Their kids for some reason have a sudden interest in their romantic love. Ian loves the attention and Mickey gets all embarrassed. (At one point Mickey is sitting on Ian's lap) - <a href="http://southsidemilkovich.tumblr.com/post/108773253224/ian-and-mickey-have-2-teenage-kids-and-theyre-now">Anon</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Romance Me With Guns, Not Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

> Laura is 17, Sam is 15  
> I don't know if I made Mickey act embarrassed enough but I hope it's still alright :)

‘ _Ian_.’

‘Mickey, keep it the fuck down.’

Mickey sighs into Ian’s neck. It’s hard that now they’ve got two kids Mickey’s had to revert back to his teenage years, keeping anything with Ian on the down low because _God forbid_ their teenagers find out they actually have a sex life. Mickey thinks he’s slowly been breaking Ian down recently though now the kids are getting older; he’s convinced him to make out with him on the sofa in the living room. Reckless, he knows. He could roll his eyes at how restrained Ian’s being.

‘Who cares if they walk in? It’s not like they haven't seen it before.’

Ian moans as Mickey grinds his hips a little more forcefully and his fingers clamp tightly where they're gripping Mickey’s waist.

‘You clearly never walked in on Frank and Monica fucking on the kitchen table. _Ah_ , definitely didn’t need to see that.’

‘Jesus, Ian, just fucking relax for once,’ Mickey murmurs directly into Ian’s ear.

‘ _Fuck it_ ,’ Ian finally relents, wrapping his arms around Mickey’s back and digging his nails into the fabric of Mickey’s t-shirt, pressing open mouthed kisses along his jaw.

‘There we go, was that so hard?’ Mickey says with a grin, scratching at the hairs at the back of Ian’s neck and then tipping his head to nip at Ian’s bottom lip.

‘ _So_ hard,’ Ian groans into Mickey’s mouth. Mickey starts laughing quietly at the double meaning but continues to attack Ian’s lips. He’s so focused on it that he doesn’t hear the fucking front room door open.

‘Woah! Emotionally scarred. Thanks,’ Laura, their eldest daughter, exclaims as she dumps her overflowing school bag next to the couch.

‘Shit!’ Sam, their other kid, yells, trailing behind his sister and slapping his hands over his eyes. ‘Uhm… Okay.’

Mickey struggles to remove himself from his place on Ian’s lap but Ian’s having none of it.

‘Where you goin’, Mick? Thought you said they could handle it.’

Mickey knows he’s gone bright fucking red and he can’t hide because Ian’s clamped his massive fucking hands around his hips.

‘I was gonna ask you guys a question. It just came up in conversation today…’ Laura says, lowering herself to the floor in front of the couch and crossing her long legs, continuing like she hadn't just caught her parents in a compromising position.

Mickey’s eyebrows shoot up and he once again tries to escape from Ian’s hold but the other man just pulls him closer with this ridiculously smug smirk.

‘Ask us anything,’ Ian says, rubbing circles on Mickey’s back. Sam finally peeks out from between his fingers and decides it’s safe to sit down on the armchair and join in with the conversation.

‘So today my friend Ellie- you know Ellie?’ Laura pauses, scraping her ginger hair back into a loose ponytail and flicking her eyes between Ian and Mickey. Oh, so she’s actually waiting for an answer.

‘Yes,’ Mickey huffs eventually, shuffling around on Ian’s lap so he can more easily face his children. By now he’s just accepted he’s not getting away from Ian, the built bastard.

‘She was talking about how her parents met and how it was fucking adorable- which, can I just say, it wasn’t; they just bumped into each other and then dropped their ice creams? That’s not romantic, it’s just annoying and inconvenient.’ Ian and Mickey chuckle before Laura gets herself back on track. ‘ _Anyway,_ it made me realise I never got told how you guys met.’

Ian raises an eyebrow and cocks his head. ‘So?’

‘ _So_ , we wanna know what kinda drug run you met on,’ Sam says, beaming widely. He seriously does take after Mickey because he _loves_ that kind of shit.

Mickey rolls his eyes. ‘We didn’t meet doing a drug run, asshole.’

‘That seems the only plausible way you two met, Mr. FUCK U-UP and Mr. Ex Go-go Dancer,’ Laura mutters.

Ian whistles and stares down at his daughter. ‘Wow… Huh. You want to tell them how it really happened, Mick?’ Ian asks, his grin bleeding into his tone. Mickey puffs out a small breath and shakes his head.

‘Jesus Christ, is this seriously a thing that’s happening? It’s Wednesday evening, go do some other shit like homework. I’m sure you got plenty.’

Laura stretches out across the floor to rummage around in her bag, pulling out a small pile of wrinkled paper. ‘My assignments are done, look, actual evidence. Now tell me, it can’t be that amazing.’

‘Speak for yourself,’ Ian snickers, resting his head against Mickey’s shoulder.

‘Fu- Can I get the fuck down from your lap please? At least?’ Mickey tries once again to break free and this time Ian lets him. But of course, he doesn’t let Mickey get too far, keeping him plastered against his side on the couch. It’s in no way helping stop this blush he’s got creeping up his neck.

‘Were there guns?’ Sam suddenly bursts out, a look in his eye that’s way too reminiscent of a teenage Carl for Mickey nor Ian to feel at ease.

‘Yeah, there were like five guns,’ Ian replies, and he’s not even lying, he’s downplaying it, even. They’ve dealt with some shit over the course of their relationship.

Sam’s ice blue eyes go wide and he slides off the armchair to join his sister on the floor. ‘Shit, that’s awesome.’

Laura draws her eyebrows together. ‘Wait, you weren’t threatening each other when you met, were you? Or was that sarcasm?’

Ian clicks his tongue and leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. ‘We had a… yeah, an unconventional relationship back then.’

‘Fucking hell,’ Sam breathes out, brimming with glee. Although Mickey really doesn’t want to delve into this topic because he has a feeling he might actually burst into flames if it becomes a gateway to asking about everything else in his and Ian’s relationship, he figures he should clarify the truth.

‘I was stealin’ shit from a store Ian worked at. He was bangin-‘

‘Woah!’

‘ _Mickey_ , is that really fucking releva-‘

‘Jesus, Gallagher, you wanna-‘

‘Gallagher-Milkovich,’ Laura corrects, as she does every goddamn time Mickey calls Ian _Gallagher_. It’s two parts annoying, one part endearing. Mickey sighs and waves her off.

‘Gallagher-Milkovich _whatever_ , can we stop interrupting each other?’

Sam lifts his hands up with a smirk before dropping his arms like they’re deadweight. ‘So you were saying about Dad having sex with his boss and something about guns?’

And Mickey’s finally getting a little enjoyment out of this hideous situation. ‘Yup. So your _Dad_ was tryna protect his creepy boss’ ass from _my_ ass.’

‘Didn’t notice it at the time, but your father’s ass was a _lot_ nicer than my creepy boss’.’

Three matching grimaces later, and Mickey’s steering the conversation back on to buttless territory. ‘And I took the store’s gun because I’m fucking hardcore.’ At Sam’s elated expression, Mickey thinks he should probably practice some parenting at this point. ‘Not that you should do that. It’s… fucked up to steal… guns…’

Ian rolls his eyes. ‘Anyway, it was your piece of shit Dad’s fault that Kash was scared of you. Your tiny thug self couldn’t scare a thing.’

Mickey’s eyebrows jump up on his forehead and he turns on Ian. ‘Excuse fucking you, I’ve got countless-‘

‘I didn’t even realise parents could be adorable,’ Laura suddenly interjects, her grin stretching across her face. And, yeah, Mickey’s back to feeling weird about the situation.

‘Laura, we’re literally talking about your Dad beating people up, how is that in any way adorable?’ Ian laughs, and Mickey can tell he’s loving this all, really. He’s feeding off this family time like a… happy leech, Mickey doesn’t fucking know, but what he _does_ know is that it’s having the opposite effect on him.

‘ _Guns_ ,’ Sam repeats, and it’s clear that he doesn’t give a shit about the “cute” side of his parents’ relationship, rather the more dangerous aspect of the romance.

Ian gestures to Sam, indicating that he’s getting to that part. ‘Yeah… so, okay, Sam you’ll love this part. I went to go get the gun back from Mickey and I took a tyre iron with me-‘

Laura gasps and puts her hands over her mouth. ‘ _Dad_ , what the fuck, did you-‘

‘No… Well, yeah, maybe a little. But he was being kind of an asshole.’

‘Hey!’

Sam nods gravely and puts his hand on his sister’s shoulder. ‘You never steal another dude’s gun, Laura.’

Laura makes a disgusted noise in the back of her throat and shrugs off his hand, whipping her head back around to face Ian and Mickey. ‘So that’s… how you got together?’

Ian nods slowly and sits back against the cushions, slipping his arm around Mickey’s shoulders. Mickey tuts and looks away like he’s not loving the affection. He doesn’t know why he pretends; he’s been out with Ian for about two fucking decades. But it’s kind of fun to see Ian’s fond answering expression. Ian decides to round the tale off in the absolute worst way possible, but he says it so nonchalantly that Mickey can maybe let it slide because at least he’s not making a big deal of it.

‘And it all kicked off from there… Mickey got shot in the leg and then the ass because of me and other shit happened that I won’t bore you-‘

‘What?!’ Laura and Sam practically shriek, sitting up ramrod straight. Of course the whole _not making a big deal out of it_ can’t also be applied to Ian and Mickey’s spawn.

‘You got shot? That’s _awesome_.’

‘Gee, thanks, kid.’

Ian actually looks fucking left out and pouts. ‘Hey, I nearly got shot too… I think…’ He furrows his brow in concentration.

‘A’ight, I think that’s enough of that conversation,’ Mickey decides, heaving himself up off the couch and ruffling both of his kids’ hair as he walks past them, much to their collective annoyance.

‘It beats the ice cream story by a freaking _mile_ , Dad!’ Laura manages to shout after Mickey.

It only takes two days for Sam to bring his friends back home after school and Ian and Mickey find themselves surrounded by demented, eager teenager boys’ eyes accompanied by a chorus of: ‘Did you really get shot in the ass?’

‘Go play in the yard,’ Mickey responds, flustered under scrutiny, shooing off the now confused group of teenagers.

‘Dad, we’re fifteen… We don’t _play_ in the _yard_ ,’ Sam scoffs, crossing his arms.

‘Yeah, like I give a fuck, just… Play Xbox or some shit.’

Once he manages to shake them off and he and Ian are left alone in the kitchen, Ian starts laughing.

Mickey frowns and turns to face the other man. ‘What?’

‘Really, Mickey? Playing in the yard? I thought you, being an old man an’ all, would try to keep kids _off_ your lawn, not actively encourage them.’

‘Fuck off.’

*

Their kids don’t seem to want to just stop at the story of how they met now that they’ve heard it, seemingly taking it as a free pass to find everything their parents do absolutely fucking _adorable_. And Ian, fucking _Ian_ , is loving it. Mickey, on the other hand, preferred it back when they were angsty and vomit-y around any outward display of affection.

And it isn’t even _normal_ shit they get worked up over. Dinner being a prime example.

‘Ian, could you pass the salt?’

‘Sure.’

‘ _Aww._ ’

‘What the actual fuck, you two,’ Mickey sighs, cheeks going slightly pink after Ian brushes his hand against Mickey’s in a really obvious way. Ian’s beaming from ear to ear.

‘Never noticed it before, but you guys always touch and stuff… It’s sweet is all,’ Laura says with a smirk, running her fork through her mashed potatoes.

‘You’ve spent too much time with your Aunt Mandy. She’s always been into taking the fucking piss.’

‘You know, I think it’s actually our North Side school that’s affecting us,’ Sam says, way too innocently.

‘Like we’re moving again and putting you back in that drug den of a high school,’ Mickey mutters, finally taking the opportunity to season his food. His family’s chatter’s distracting as hell.

‘ _You_ guys both went there,’ Sam practically whines, his fork clattering against his plate as he drops it. Talk about not acting your age.

‘Yeah, and look how we turned out,’ Mickey shoots back, chuckling slightly.

Laura scrunches her mouth up in thought and then smiles. She looks ridiculous but both Ian and Mickey wouldn’t trade her for the world.

‘I don’t know… I think you turned out pretty damn well.’

Okay, so maybe Mickey would trade her.

**Author's Note:**

> [Prompts? ...Prompts ](http://southsidemilkovich.tumblr.com)


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